The Link Between ABD & Math Class

Scientific research on the link between a severe disorder called ABD and all math classes in general have been conducted for many years by a professor in Ewa Beach, Hawaii. She concludes that the reason WHY the two are linked are more than obvious. Here is her synopsis:

The illness Acute Boredom Disorder, or ABD, is the disorder in which an individual suffers from a severe case of boredom. ABD is most commonly found in people ranging from the ages 8 to 19. The worst cases have been found in teens, especially 10th graders. More specifically, all have shown the worst cases of ABD in their math classes.

Research shows that students find any form of math unattractive, and become subject to sleeping in class and playing with their pencils rather than doing their mathwork. "All those numbers and rules and stuff," says one 10th grader in James Campbell High School (name will remain anonymous) "Are just so overwhelming. I can't help but fall asleep."

This anonymous student isn't the only one who agree. A recent poll shows that majority of the public school sophomores agree with the claim. The problem remains the same: how to get students more involved in their math class. Some therapists suggest involving your students in the lesson, or presenting the unit in a way that the children can connect. But still students show minor response.

ABD is not terminal, but it is very contagious. Contact with a student that has ABD-A (the worst case of ABD, level one) can cause serious side effects like side track, procrastination, and bad study habits. Most parents are unaware of their children being stricken by this illness, because the disease is rarely ever demonstrated at home.

"Hell if I knew my kid had ABD," says one parent. "She's never bored on Maple, so I've never noticed it. I HAVE noticed that she has no life, but that's beside the topic. Never have I seen my child bored. Never."

So as common and widespread as this virus is, there still is no cure and no solution. The world will just have to live with Acute Boredom Disorder until some solution is found.

Took me a week to come up with this bullshit, hahaha. Started it in Huycks, completed it in Sueokas a week later.